how to live life deliberately on your terms
Feeling a little lost in this reintegration and recovery state of play?
Often we get overwhelmed because we are trying to “do and be everything to everyone else”. Maybe you’re regularly triggered into a stress response, or you’re operating in default mode, on autopilot, when you know you have to shift gears?
In these situations we end up living the life that others want or need us to have. This approach to life will not be serving you. It will be holding you back, perhaps even harming you. After all, if you’re not deliberate about spending your attention, time and energy on your own pursuits, your precious attention, time and energy is sure enough going to be snapped up by someone or something else!
To be able to climb out and start living deliberately requires work (obviously) and it starts with defining your own definition of success and having your own clear sense of purpose. There is a huge difference between making a lot of money and making a lot of life. To make a lot of life we need to have a meaningful purpose, we need to LIVE ON PURPOSE! Understanding your purpose, your VISION, knowing where the big picture goal posts are, is pretty exciting.
Let’s make it a little more practical by identifying “the truth” according to Mark Manson:
“We exist on this earth for some undetermined period of time. During that time, we do things. Some of these things are important. Some of them are unimportant. And those important things give our lives meaning and happiness. The unimportant ones basically just kill time (or serve someone else’s dreams!).
So, when people say, “What should I do with my life?” or “What is my life purpose?” what they’re actually asking is: “What can I do with my time that is important?”
This is an infinitely better question to ask. It’s far more manageable and it doesn’t have all of the ridiculous baggage that the “life purpose” question does. There’s no reason for you to be contemplating the cosmic significance of your life while sitting on your couch all day eating chips. Rather, you could be taking action and discovering what feels important to you.”
We needn’t get all twisted with trying to ‘find your why’. What Mark claims is that it’s more about knowing what is the most important thing to be spending your time on.
While we are in this reintegration and recovery phase, those who thrive in this space will be the ones with a really clear sense about where they want to be and what they need to be doing (everyday) to get there. In other words they’re working on their most important stuff.
Later this week I’ll offer up three methods you can use to find that all important sense of purpose, the important stuff in YOUR life!